In Queens, NY, yes, your spouse needs to be personally served. As a party to the action you may not be the one that personally serves the papers on him/her.
It must be another person over the age of eighteen (18) that serves your spouse.
If you need help with a divorce, call the attorneys with Zelenitz, Shapiro & D’Agostino at (718) 523-1111 for a free consultation.